I’ve been thinking that I need to find employment. I’ve always lived on the thin edge of my financial resources and too often fell over the edge into debt. Now I’m out of debt, but my income is insufficient to my needs. So, much as I’d like to give my work away, I need to find a way to step back from that thin edge. That’s what I was just thinking. But in the quirky way my mind works, all of that got me to thinking about that phrase “living on the edge.”
I realized that I want to live on the edge, but in a very different way. Though living on the edge of one’s resources often feels a bit scary and not a place I like to be, “living on the thin edge of the world” sounds rich and wonderful with possibilities to me. It captures exactly how I feel about this freedom I’ve been having with my time and what I most need and want in life.
I want to be able to pay attention to that thin edge between the visible and the invisible, the physical world and the world of the spirit’s whispering. I want to feel the wind I cannot see and taste the scent in the air, hear the invitations that the world holds out to me, to see the “more” beneath its unfolding. I want to live in what the ancient Celts called the “thin places” in the world where they were moved to worship. But I want my daily life to be such a thin place, where the mundane and the divine touch each other through a very sheer veil.
I sound a little crazy, don’t I? Do I want too much? Probably. But that’s what I want most when I stop to think about it. That’s when I feel most alive: when I feel the world and the Spirit in the same instant. I want to ride the prow of this ship that is my life the way Rose (aka Kate Winslet) rode the wind on the very forward edge of the Titanic in that movie, freed by her faith in the hands that held her. I know the Hands that hold me in life are strong and sure. So why am I not riding the wind, plowing the sea with joy?
Okay, Reality Check. I am very far from riding the wind. But it doesn’t mean I don’t long for that very thing….
Blessing to you. May today bring you joy!